Archive for the ‘stages of grief’ tag
Kubler-Ross and the stages of a retail no
I know, not the most SEO friendly title, but it’ll do.
was listening to William Ury’s The Power of a Positive No
and heard his linking Kubler-Ross’ 5 stages of grief to
reaction phases when a someone hears a no
(in any form) from you.
His version includes 6, which (in no particular order) are:
- Denial
- Anxiety
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
All this to say this -
in the last few days I’ve been surprised
how much denial I see in my customers’ responses.
The first is denying recognition of the no ever being said.
Second is denying that the no applies to them.
Third is denying any recollection of previous conversations,
save for selectively remembered (and/or distorted) snippets
which emphasize the original denial of the no.
If I persist in my no, I may encounter anxiety -
which is expressed in one of two ways:
Whining (both men and women) -
The tactic here is to force compliance by annoyance -
it worked with Mommy and Daddy, so it has to work here, right?
HFOW (hysterical flow of words) - (mostly women, some men) -
The tactic here is the emotional version of the Powell Doctrine -
use overwhelming emotional force and unrelenting verbiage to
brute force the target into compliance.
If I press further I might get anger,
but I usually get the classic “I want to talk to your manager” line
by this time (if I don’t suggest involving him myself).
The tactic here is pulling rank - a pure status play,
especially in a rank-conscious environment
where a customer sees
themself as having a rank advantage,
either by the sole virtue of being a Customer
or by some other external token of status.
The Bargaining stage is usually an alternative second response,
replacing anxiety (or preceding it).
The tactic here is, again, to wear down by repetition of questions,
most of them trivial and/or nitpicking.
Answers reinforcing a no are conveniently
not understood and/or forgotten.
The Depression stage can emerge at any time,
as it is primarily concerned with inducing Guilt.
The tactic here is to elicit sympathy (and compliance)
instead of empathy (and a respectful, yet understanding No).
Acceptance (grudging or otherwise) is the goal -
as both parties end the transaction accepting the outcome.
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