Archive for the ‘anger’ tag
“No one moves while they’re angry” - 2 tips for dealing with angry people
Like the rich, angry people are different from you and I…
Seth Godinputs it elequently:
It’s tempting to treat an angry person just like a typical person, just… angrier.
This is probably a mistake, because anger brings its own reality along with it.
let that sink in - anger brings its own reality along with it.
An angry customer isn’t just a little less valuable than a non-angry customer.
In fact, she’s on a curve all her own.
You’re not even in the same universe as the angry person,
let alone the same page.
I have two suggestions for dealing with angry folks:
1. Sometimes, you can just avoid them.
You can choose not to work with angry people. Just move on.
There are plenty of non-angry people out there.
Not always an option at work, but the best option when it’s available.
The temptation is to go for this solution even and especially when it’s not an option.
2. You can acknowledge the anger and understand that
until you make the anger go away, all responses are going to be
off the charts and completely useless to you.
here’s another one to let sink in slowly -
until the anger goes away, none of your normal tools work:
Appeals to fairness don’t work.
Appeals to reason don’t work.
The opportunity in working with an angry person is that
you can somehow turn that angry person into a non-angry one…
and from there, move them up the curve to a relationship you both value.The mistake marketers make all the time is that we believe that
moving the person up the curve is the next step.It’s not.
No one moves while they’re angry.
In essence, they’re fighting you
and your first reasonable reaction is to defend yourself
against the barrage directed at you.
Which causes you to get angry, or at least defensive,
until you realize that they’re not angry at you,
they’re merely angry near you.
“I sometimes take my anger out on other people.”
That was the excuse given by this scumbag.
Arrrgh.
“A MAN stabbed an amateur footballer to death
because he could not give him the time,
a court heard yesterday.”
(Via Fark.)
Tags: anger, fark, footballer, man stabbed, scotland, scumbagKubler-Ross and the stages of a retail no
I know, not the most SEO friendly title, but it’ll do.
was listening to William Ury’s The Power of a Positive No
and heard his linking Kubler-Ross’ 5 stages of grief to
reaction phases when a someone hears a no
(in any form) from you.
His version includes 6, which (in no particular order) are:
- Denial
- Anxiety
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
All this to say this -
in the last few days I’ve been surprised
how much denial I see in my customers’ responses.
The first is denying recognition of the no ever being said.
Second is denying that the no applies to them.
Third is denying any recollection of previous conversations,
save for selectively remembered (and/or distorted) snippets
which emphasize the original denial of the no.
If I persist in my no, I may encounter anxiety -
which is expressed in one of two ways:
Whining (both men and women) -
The tactic here is to force compliance by annoyance -
it worked with Mommy and Daddy, so it has to work here, right?
HFOW (hysterical flow of words) - (mostly women, some men) -
The tactic here is the emotional version of the Powell Doctrine -
use overwhelming emotional force and unrelenting verbiage to
brute force the target into compliance.
If I press further I might get anger,
but I usually get the classic “I want to talk to your manager” line
by this time (if I don’t suggest involving him myself).
The tactic here is pulling rank - a pure status play,
especially in a rank-conscious environment
where a customer sees
themself as having a rank advantage,
either by the sole virtue of being a Customer
or by some other external token of status.
The Bargaining stage is usually an alternative second response,
replacing anxiety (or preceding it).
The tactic here is, again, to wear down by repetition of questions,
most of them trivial and/or nitpicking.
Answers reinforcing a no are conveniently
not understood and/or forgotten.
The Depression stage can emerge at any time,
as it is primarily concerned with inducing Guilt.
The tactic here is to elicit sympathy (and compliance)
instead of empathy (and a respectful, yet understanding No).
Acceptance (grudging or otherwise) is the goal -
as both parties end the transaction accepting the outcome.
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Elizabeth Kubler-Ross,
difficult customer,
customer service,
William Ury,
retail hell
it’s beginning to get to me…
and I’m not referring to the Snow Patrol song, either…
my body’s in a dull, overall pain, with the right ankle leading the way.
I’m just tired of the utter arrogance, entitlement, and complete obliviousness
to all but their own petulant desires that runs rampant through the Penn kids who come to the store (and also their parents).
I have no more compassion for people who act in this manner - whatever befalls them, befalls them.
I will not overtly harm any of these people, but they can forget about any exemplary aid.
I’m just that burnt right now - it takes all I have to not thoroughly hate them.
{observations, life}
Technorati Tags: life, observations, anger
Tags: anger, arrogance, compassion, desires, observations, snow patrol