The REAL Truth About Why You Suck: You Don’t!
Do you ever feel that you suck!?
Okay, so feeling like you suck is something you’re not supposed to talk about, right?
You’re supposed to stay positive. You’re supposed to be confident. You’re supposed to sweep your insecurities under the rug, and forget they’re there.
But it’s hard.
You’re working twice as hard as everyone else, and yet it seems like you get half as much done.You’re twice as smart, and yet it seems like your ideas get half the attention.
You’re twice as loyal to your company, and yet it seems like your boss doesn’t even know you exist half the time.
No one ever says you suck, no, but you’re starting to wonder if that’s what everyone thinks. And it really, really bothers you.
So what do you do?
I felt like this a few years ago and it wasn’t a great place to be.
There I was, a cocky young man with the world seemingly at my feet and an exciting career ahead of me. And when I was passed over for promotion and a pay rise yet again, it really upset me. To put it mildly.
Luckily, around this time I had a chance meeting with an Irish entrepreneur in a bar that changed my outlook.
It turned out that he was a property tycoon visiting from Dublin. And for two hours, he shared some enthralling tales about his business life.
Indeed, he was my first ever “coach,” well before I knew of such a profession.
I told him how I felt undervalued and unappreciated at my workplace.
He looked me in the eye and said that he was going to share his story of how he started off in his business career. And if I chose to learn the lesson from his story, it could change my life. And it did.
He told me his story about how when he was starting off, he had to present his case to three senior bank managers for further funding for his property investment business.
He had been full of trepidation as his future business and indeed his livelihood depended on getting favourable funding.
As he sat in front of the three bank managers, he had a sudden realisation – THEY needed him and his business even more than he needed them!
This was a time of economic boom and banks were beginning to open up their coffers and willing to take more chances on up and coming businesses. After all, the bankers were greedy opportunists and they had clearly sensed an opportunity of a sound investment.
Immediately, in the Irishman’s mind, his whole game plan changed and he presented his business case with a lot of panache and confidence. In the end, he walked away with more funding and at better rates than he had hoped for.
The rest was history and on the back of the money he received after that meeting, he had gone on to create a very successful, multimillion pound business.
So my very first ever “coach” and mentor shared this life-changing lesson with me.
Never ever underestimate yourself and your ability
That evening, I walked home with an extra zip in my step and a new fire burning in me. That fire of self-belief has been there ever since.
Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. When I believe I can, I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn’t have it in the beginning.’ ~Mahatma Gandhi.
I believe in myself – and I truly also believe in you and your ability to do anything you want, if you want it badly enough.
No one has the right to tell you that you suck and you are not good enough.
It’s time to forgive those who you think have hurt you – and really focus on YOU.
The Irishman’s advice isn’t just applicable to entrepreneurs and business transactions, but your own life as well. Here’s how to make everyone (including yourself) see and appreciate your true value:
1. YOU are unique
You are unique and you have many wonderful qualities.
Now you may be thinking – who? Me?
Look back at your life, your heritage and your family background. Think about your education and all your special life experiences that have brought you to where you are today and made you the person you are.
To illustrate my point, look at where I have come from. Born in Kenya to Indian parents, I have lived in the UK most of my life.
My values and life philosophy have evolved from many different cultures, whilst my work life has taken me to an oil company, a bank and a Chinese food multinational. And oh, there was a stint of being a dot com paper millionaire.
I am truly unique – and so are you.
And that uniqueness gives you a perspective that just can’t be found anywhere else. It’s why most of the hardest problems are solved by people outside the group originally struggling with them. It’s why diversity isn’t just a buzzword, but a key element in creativity and problem-solving.
Embrace your unique perspective and watch the admiration grow around you.
2. YOU are Smart
Sadly, most people rely on meaningless values like test scores and school grades to determine their own intelligence.
But those tests and courses only measure a very tiny fraction of the knowledge of the world.
Look at your hobbies and interests outside of your work – and you will see just how competent and capable you are already.
Can you blow a didgeridoo? Do you dance salsa or tango? Speak three languages fluently? Maybe you run marathons on the weekend? Can you walk into a room full of strangers and be the life and soul of the party?
Well, there you are!
There are umpteen things you can do in your social and work life that no one else can–and those skills are no more or less valuable than the ability to do complex maths.
Worried you’ll be the only one with that perspective?
Try out a broader definition of intelligence by complimenting others on their demonstrations of “unusual” intelligence. Eventually those around you will do the same.
Live your life today – get excited about your life!
3. YOU already add value to everyone around you
Just by being you, you are adding something to the world.
Some people are very helpful and always kind. Others make you laugh and make your day lighter. And there’s the person, like yours truly, who is always taking charge and making things happen.
Each person in your life adds something to those around them, whether it through their creativity, compassion or cheerfulness. It is in their nature to be like this.
In the same way, you too are bringing that little extra specialness in the world.
Just continue to accentuate the positive value you add to everyone around you.
4. YOU are just getting started
Can you see how you too can now set the world alight?
You may ask – where do I start?
Well, the place to start is from exactly where you are at now!
Before you contemplate handing in your resignation, begin to look for ways and means of adding even more value to all those around you–inside and outside of work.
Leadership is an attitude and not tied to your corporate level. Or even your social status.
But one also doesn’t become a leader in a day. Remember that the people you look up to were once where you are now.
What often distinguishes the leaders is a willingness to keep learning and growing, without devaluing who they are today.
So go ahead, breathe your fire and find your swagger.
Shout from the gallows about how good you are and how good you are going to become.
More importantly, believe it.
Image courtesy of hang_in_thereEditorial note:- I first published this post on EveryDay Bright
from Arvind Devalia's "Make It Happen" http://www.arvinddevalia.com/blog/2012/04/25/real-truth-about-why-you-suck/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ArvindDevalia+%28Arvind+Devalia%27s+%22Make+It+Happen%21%22%29
The story of money is not a straight line
Everyone tells themself a different story about money, but there’s no doubt at all that the story we tell ourselves changes our behavior.
Consider this curve of how people react in situations that cost money.
A musician is standing on a street corner playing real good for free. Most people walk on by (3). That same musician playing at a bar with a $5 cover gets a bit more attention. Put him into a concert hall at $40 and suddenly it’s an event.
Pay someone minimum wage or a low intern stipend (4) and they treat the work like a job. Don’t expect that worker to put in extra effort or conquer her fear–the message is that her effort was bought and paid for and wasn’t worth very much to the boss… and so she reciprocates in kind. The same sort of thing can happen in a class that’s easy to get into and that doesn’t cost much–a Learning Annex sort of thing. Easy to start, cheap to try–not much effort as a result.
It’s interesting to me to see what happens to people who pay a lot or get paid well (2,5). The kids at Harvard Law School, for example, or a third-year associate at a law firm. Here, we see all nighters, heroic, career-risking efforts and all sorts of personal investment. And yet as we extend the curve to situations where the rules of rational money are suspended, something happens–people get fearful again. Don’t look to Oprah or JK Rowling or the Donald to bet it all–the huge amount of money they could earn (or could pay) to play at the next level (1 & 6) isn’t enough to get them out of their comfort zone. Money ceases to be a motivator for everyone at some point.
Most interesting of all is the long black line at zero (3). The curve goes wild here, like dividing by zero. At zero, at the place where no money changes hands, we see volunteer labor and free exchange. In these situations, sometimes we see extraordinary effort, the stuff that wins Nobel prizes. Just about every great, brave or beautiful thing in our culture was created by someone who didn’t do it for money. We see the local volunteer putting in insane hours even though no one is watching. We hear the magical song or read the amazing poem that no one got paid to write. And sometimes, though, we see very little, just a trolling comment or a half-hearted bit of commentary. Remove money from the story and we’re in a whole new category. The most vivid way to think about this is the difference between a mutually-agreed upon romantic date and one in which money changes hands.
All worth thinking about when you consider how much to charge for a gig, what tuition ought to be, what motivates job creators or whether or not a form of art disappears when the business model for that art goes away.
from Seth's Blog http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2012/04/storyofmoney.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+typepad%2Fsethsmainblog+%28Seth%27s+Blog%29
A Trick to Find and Start a Profitable Idea
fun fact, the life design project was almost called “no shift key” because i didn’t like using capitals
whether you’re thinking of selling a product or service, or have an idea for a business, i have a trick for testing if it’s profitable that i’ve been using in my business.
the idea can be anything at first to open your mind to this, it could be selling baked goods, doing technical support, telling people how to rack up frequent flyer miles, it’s not important to start.
the biggest hurdle when in this space is usually a mental one…
you’re head messes with you when you have ideas…
- might be scared and so you think “i could never make money from this”
- might be practical and worry about graphics, and the website, and marketing, and how you’re going to charge people equaling overload
- could be adding features by the minute to your great idea, increasing development time, and people involved
- get lost on where to start
- complain you’re already too busy but have big dreams
most businesses don’t fail for lack of trying, they fail because the idea wasn’t very good to start with and no one bothered to figure that out.
so how can you figure all this out quickly and get the real question answered…is this idea going to work?
your first move is to ask that question, which not everyone does before they throw all their money into a pizza place or quit their job
…then boil everything down to basics and set one really specific goal…that will get you started, everything after that I’m still learning.
start small, test, and tweak
IT Arsenal didn’t grow until I got really specific about what was offered and measurable goals like, 10 sales this month.
i tricked myself into action by telling myself i would offer one of my product ideas for a couple months and then change to another one of my ideas instead of trying to get my head around how to offer everything and get everything done.
this “cycle idea” tricked me into getting really really specific instead of trying to pitch “how awesome everything I do is” (pour on the sarcasm)….or think of all the problems or reasons i can’t do it. i was able to just start, really start.
after you make the mental shift, it’s much easier to make progress. it’s something bite sized you can take on.
i ended up not actually moving to another idea in a few months, sometimes it was longer, sometimes shorter, but it forced me to get obsessed about a specific product idea in cycles and find what worked, in other words, iterate more and quicker. i’m still doing this now.
examples of getting really specific for my ideas looked like this…Monthly WordPress Backup and Customized Advice, Website Setup for Online Entrepreneurs, Website Setup Training with Video’s for the Non-Technical.
instead of worrying about delivery, i asked people if they wanted this, got feedback and if yes, just sent them a PayPal link and the more feedback I got validated putting more effort into setting up a system for people to buy it, or a better graphic, or a graphic at all.
bad execution is also why business ideas fail, but without a profitable idea, execution doesn’t matter.
you could post your idea on craigslist first to boil things down to their basics. look to only make 3 sales or some very specific measure.
i was surprised…just getting a little specific in the offer and the goals made all the difference and had immediate results (IE questions, interest, and sales). i now have several products selling, with several landing pages, while i slowly keep testing.
the fact that I’m too busy with users to make changes means I’m making money, which was the point. my original ideas have changed, but what’s important is i know what is wanted, what people will pay for, and can act on it.
when you have something to grow, instead of looking quizically at an empty pot you can test just how profitable your idea can be or change it and keep testing.
how to start
- boil your idea down to a specific small offering
- ask people if they would buy it, ask them to do so. use friends or craigslist to find people. use launch rock to gather e-mails (http://launchrock.com/)
- do it for them, gather feedback
- test and tweak
…after you do this, you have something, which was the point. this is encouragement to take a step on a project you’ve been thinking about.
from THE LIFE DESIGN PROJECT http://thelifedesignproject.com/a-trick-to-find-and-start-a-profitable-idea/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheLifeDesignProject+%28The+Life+Design+Project%29