Declaration of Ignorance (or Preamble to the U.S. Prostitution)
We the Sheeple, in order to form a more imperfect civil union,
establish miscarriages of justice, ensure tranquilized domesticity,
provide for the defense of the lowest common denominator,
promote welfare in general, and bless the security theatre mistaken for liberty
for us, our babymommas and babydaddies,
do select, by our overwhelming phone and web votes,
this Prostitution of the United States of America.